A man named James was asked by a man named Jurgen to defend a man (ish) Phil Foden for a period of roughly 90 minutes. Owing to James being fourteen years older than Phil, and not one of the game's more imaginative players, he was largely unsuccessful in the endeavour. Thus, our tale unfolds.
Read MoreThe world of soccer is a beguiling place, with its many moments made absurd by reasonably energetic agency photographers in possession of the right credentials, lenses with long focal lengths, and monopods. Who doesn’t love a good monopod? Or a good photo, for that matter?
Read MoreRelax your mind and imagine, if you will, what a handful of Premier League managers might be like were they to run a restaurant or nightclub? What might happen then?
Read MoreIt was cool watching Ronaldo get his goals on his United re-debut against Newcastle. His signature 180-jump-to-pelvic explosion post goal celly is enjoyable in the same way that a People’s Elbow or Stone Cold Stunner is enjoyable: it’s pure, ridiculous exuberance.
Read MorePart one of a two-part trip to sponsorland.
Read MoreThe notorious oiled-up absman wanted out of Juventus, and because he’s insanely good at football there are only a handful of clubs who can afford him. A window of opportunity has again opened up for the game's most endearing narcissist.
Read MoreAsk a random West Ham fan and I bet they insist that goal-difference first place is way more their style than out-of-sight first place.
Read MoreThe season’s not even a week old and we’re already halfway off a bridge with Messi, Kane and Grealish. It’s too much. We need something else.
Read MoreThere’s nothing like a big-time international tournament to distract from the few things that probably matter to you in life. The 2020 European Championships are just the ticket.
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