Darby Jean #94 | A tale of two yellow cards (and a manic, malfunctioning Pep-bot)
James Milner
This is James Milner, a 35 year old man who plays for Liverpool. He’s enjoyed a decorated career that includes three Premier League titles, a Champions League title, and the distinction of having had a door in a training center named after him. ‘Stalwart’ is probably a good word to describe him.
Phil Foden
This is Phil Foden, a 21 year old man (only just) who plays for Manchester City. He’s an exciting young English footballer on the cusp of a brilliant career, having already captured two Premier League titles. He likes Icelandic women (who doesn’t?) and severe haircuts. ‘Standout’ is probably a good word to describe him.
Pep Guardiola
This is Pep Guardiola, the 50 year-old manager of Manchester City. The Catalonian is one of soccer’s great soccerists, having played for or coached three of the sport’s most formidable club squads: Barcelona, Bayern Munich and Manchester City. ‘Insane’ is probably a good word to describe him. Watch him here, drinking water from a bottle like he’s about to be sentenced to an unreasonably long stretch in prison.
This video depicts a moment in which a yellow card was produced to penalize a harsh foul by James Milner on Phil Foden. The foul came about because Milner was asked by a man named Jurgen (also likely insane) to defend Phil Foden for a period of roughly 90 minutes. Owing to James Milner being fourteen years older than Phil Foden, and not one of the game's more imaginative players, he was largely unsuccessful in the endeavour.
This video depicts a situation in which a harsh foul meriting a yellow card was again committed by James Milner, who, now a further thirty or so minutes into his ordeal, chopped down a speeding Bernardo Silva like the pair were doing roller derby. A second yellow card produced at this stage would have seen Milner forced to leave the field of play. Controversially, a card was not produced. Moments like these in sports are sometimes referred to as ‘flashpoints’ or ‘complete and utter bullshit’ depending on the extent of one’s sobriety. Both assessments have value.
Summary
What a game. There are some days when the soccering just sells itself, no questions asked. It's a shame that we're in for another international break just now, because I could do with some more of this next week.