tight jeans - june 26, 2021
It's literally 45 minutes before the first of the Round of 16 games kicks off, so we're very much sneaking this in under the wire, pals.
Predictions. Round of 16.
You hold can hold the Jeaner's feet to the fire later on.
Vamanos.
Big Rom. Ok.
Euro 2020: Round of 16 predictions
Wales/Denmark - june 26, 2021
Unless you’re a blackhearted brute inured to sentiment, or you’re Welsh, you’re probably rooting for Denmark. But with the modernist oasis of Copenhagen's Telia Parken no longer a factor, it seems that Wales, the more focused team in the first round, are better poised to push through to the quarterfinals.
Winner: Wales (2-1)
Italy/Austria - june 26, 2021
This feels like another group game for the Azzuri. Austria lacks weapons. Italy has weapons- to the extent that they may not even have to get into the car, never mind put it in gear. Maybe they just smoke a cigarette and lean against the door. Maybe there's some nice Balearic house on in the background. Maybe.
Winner: Italy (3-0)
Netherlands/Czech Republic - june 27, 2021
The Dutch are the right pick, here. Hardly troubled in the first round apart from a brief two-goal flurry from the Ukraine, they’ve had a mostly friction-free chance to gel into a unit that’s ready for the heavy big tournament lift. The Dutch will have to be physical with the likes of Vladimir Coufal and Thomas Soucek, but history shows that they aren’t overly averse to this course of action.
Winner: Netherlands (2-0)
Belgium/Portugal - june 27, 2021
Apart from Romelu Lukaku, it’s hard to point to anyone on the Belgium team that’s looked particularly hungry this tournament. But the sight of Ronaldo, and the rest of Portugal’s erratically dangerous squad (even Pepe) should be the smelling salts that remind this particular Belgian side that they’re in a major tournament, they’re the World’s no.1 ranked team, and this is pretty much their last chance.
Winner: Belgium (3-1)
Croatia/Spain - june 28, 2021
Spain's Alvaro Morata has the ability to score, but apparently not the will, not even in a 5-0 goal sweepstakes hosted by Slovakia in their final group game. This is a problem for Spain. They’re certain to out-possess Croatia and create the chances to win, but with a slightly dog-eared copy of the 2018 World Cup runners up hitting their stride, for Spain not scoring enough will equate to not winning at all.
Winner: Croatia (2-1)
France/Switzerland - june 28, 2021
France will walk this game like Hector Bellerin during Fashion Week. 3-1 to les Bleus, with a Xherdan Shaquiri (bless) consolation goal for the Swiss earning him one last big contract somewhere on the continent.
Winner: France (3-1)
England/Germany - june 29, 2021
This battle for xenophobic bragging rights should yield a shower of bitten nails. Germany have been inconsistent; England have been consistently hard to watch. Both have the capacity for goals and the midfield tools to cancel each other out. Let’s stick with English consistency here, and go 1-0 to England on another Raheem Sterling goal at Wembley.
Winner: England (1-0)
Sweden/Ukraine - june 29, 2021
More than anything, it’ll be interesting to see who wears what in this tilt between the tournament’s yellow-heavy weights. Both teams are kinda trash, to be honest, but ultimately Sweden will out-Sweden Ukraine for a sleepy 2-0 win.
Winner: Sweden (2-0)
Pour yourself something bubbly, pals. It should be a fun few days.