Darby Jean #72 | Sean Dyche is dating Crystal Palace
He looks great in that black coat, too.
With City thumping Spurs 3-0 on Saturday afternoon, a certain pall of inevitability has fallen over the Premiership title race. The outclassing was near-instantaneous from the opening whistle. I looked on in resignation, a pressure mounting in my chest as the Gundogoals rolled in, one after the next.
The feeling was a lot like witnessing the hunky volleyball-playing* senior swoop in and pick off the girl at the very top of your list in high school. Even as it was painful and confusing, you couldn’t get that mad because he really was an excellent volleyball player, sold decent weed when he could get it, and was going to win the 20/21 Premiership by a good 16-18 points by the time dust had settled.
*I don’t know why I chose volleyball. What would you have picked?
A nice, sensible turteneck. Northing more, nothing less.
Arsenal are turning a corner again for like, the third time this season
It’s always a surprise to see David Luiz on the field when Arsenal are playing. It's just assumed he’s serving a three match ban for using razorwire to bring someone down in box. He does ping a good pass from time to time, though.
Otherwise, it was nice to see Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang back in the goals with a hat trick on the weekend. It’s been an age since we’ve heard his distinctive high-register peals ring out in the emptiness of Emirates. Mikel Arteta and his carefully rolled turtleneck (he’s spending too much time with Hector Bellerin) should be pleased with a 4-2 win over Leeds, even if they did let their opponents scrape back two goals (and nearly a third) after going up 4-0.
It's too early for a club like Arsenal to have nothing left to play for. I wonder what kind of damage they can do in the league before the season comes to an end? 'Some' feels like a reasonable guess.
(Telegraph)
Sean Dyche is dating Crystal Palace
Palace’s 3-0 defeat at home to Burnley seems to have numbered manager Roy Hodgson’s days at Selhurst Park. The Eagles have of late been rag-dolling their way down the table like a hapless jean-skier, and while they’re still comfortably clear of relegation, a squad of their calibre shouldn't know a thing about 14th position.
Word on the street is that Burnley manager Sean Dyche, everyone’s favourite whiskey-at-breakfast Premier League man’s man, may be the chap to steer Palace toward more august shores. Sure, it’s all rumour mill fodder, but for my money, a Dyche/Palace marriage would be the perfect analogue for, well, marriage. On balance it's pretty good most of the time, with maybe a few points where you're a little unhappy, but by and large the fact that the other person is there is usually more than enough.
Roy Keane's Instagram --- Followers: 1m --- Following: 0 (@officialkeane16)
Roy Keane has an Instagram account
And that’s all you need to know. Imagine Keane's bowel-loosening stare being aimed at the Sky Sports digital team proposing the account. It would have been a chilling few minutes before everyone agreed to go down to the canteen to get drunk before lunch. If Keane's Insta presence ends up being as joyless and abject as his media persona, the world is in for a treat. Photos to date feature Keane dressed as Steven Rinella from Meat Eater, and Keane dressed as a Nottingham Forest player being strangled on field by an opponent. There's nothing wrong with a good strangling now and then.
Brentford's Ivan Toney. (Premier League World)
Update: Brentford
Going into the weekend the Bees were top of the Championship pops, two points clear of Norwich City, and dancing like an influencer at a Bali resort. Top scorer, Ivan Toney, signed from Peterborough United, had 23 goals to his name, making the loss of Ollie Watkins feel like little more than a fading stain on the sheets. Then the squad decided not to kneel ahead of their game against Barnsley - a commentary on the increasingly empty gesture that some believe kneeling as an anti-racism protest has become. Then they booted the game, losing 2-0. Brentford are still in the second automatic promotion spot, but this is how things started last season when they shit the bed and crashed out of the playoffs.
Choons | Every Time I Die - Map Change
If you’re not much for hardcore and metal, then you’re free to go. But if a dark, wintry ode to Buffalo, New York is what you knew in your heart you were missing today, do stick around. The song is a blunt instrument - screaming, singing, riffing - and is best used to quickly topple any personal records you’ve yet to best (running, dead-lifting and Guinness come to mind). Pop it onto your favourite output device next weekend when your team inevitably drops points (again), and revel in the evil coursing through your system like a Sith lord.